We Are Made Up of Beginningings, Not Endings. Or Why I Ate All Those Donuts.

Do you ever have days when you sit around and eat your feelings? Do ever eat so many feeling donuts that you throw up? This is what happened to me yesterday, and it made me oddly reflective.

Why did I eat so many donuts? They were delicious, and yes, maybe because I was a little sad. I've had so many endings in my life lately that I'm trying to fill in the holes. Donuts don't do the trick, though.

So I decided to read some talks from General Conference. I missed the whole thing last weekend. That's the kind of Mormon I am. I prefer reading the talks over listening to them. I love the general authorizes of the Church, but they make me sleepy. I can't make it through two talks before I pass out. It's not because they are boring, but because I'm so tired and tend to fall asleep if I sit still for more than ten minutes at a time.

President Uchtdorf is my spirit animal. I always read his talks first, and this time, he didn't disappoint. He spoke right to me. "In light of what we know about our eternal destiny, is it any wonder that whenever we face the bitter endings of life, they seem unacceptable to us? There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity."

 

 

While a lot of things in my life have ended, a lot more are just beginning. I'm working outside of the home for the first time in almost eight years. Teaching is fulfilling. Teenagers make me happy. They remind me of promise and hope and endless possibilities. I am also starting a new life, a better and happier one. I am on my own for the first time, too. It's scary and liberating at the same time. It's me and my boys against the world, and I can't think of better companions.

 

Today I will go running and eat a salad. Those donuts are gone. I have more hope. I got some wonderful news yesterday, which I will share with everyone later. I will not let things get me down. I will not eat four donuts in one day. Instead, I will look at life like it's a donut, never ending, covered in sprinkles, and delicious. Don't think about how fattening and troublesome it can sometimes be. Concentrate on the yumminess.