All the Single Ladies. . .

Why do we torture ourselves with movies and books that portray unrealistic loves? Why did I think it would be a good idea to stay up late and watch The Fault in Our Stars all alone? On a Friday night, when most people are out on dates? Why? Did I need to remind myself that Gus SSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR
is dead?

Why isn't there an option for "dating dessert" as a relationship status on Facebook? It's the truth, y'all. Cake and I are so happy together. And it's a good thing. Being alone is far better than living in a crazy world. I like being alone, I really do, but then I get on Facebook and see everyone's statuses on how amazing their husbands are. I want to comment, "Good for you, you stupid jerk." But I don't because it's not their fault that they got a good man and I didn't. I'm happy when other people are happy, so I like the crap out of their statuses.

So Mama Faye (a friend's mom) did some entail at a church event for single adults. The prospects of finding a tall, blond, lumberjack are very bleak. I need to fly up to Alaska. I hear it's teeming with lumberjack-type men. But I'm a strong, smart woman, who don't need no man.

I own my singlehood. It doesn't make me less of a person because I'm alone. It makes me a better person because I can make it on my own. No one can tell me my business. I can eat cake at midnight and no one can judge me. I can sing in the shower and no one will critique my high notes. I can watch all the trashy TV I want and not be given flack for it. (Because as you know, watching an R rated movies is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse than having an affair and abandoning your family.)

But I would like a shoulder rub, or someone to see me after I run three miles and tell me I'm pretty, and for someone to change my oil (my literal engine oil, you perverts).Love is a paradox. I want it, and yet I don't.