I used to have really nice things. I had a two-story house in a beautiful community. Hiking trails lead to a brand new park. I had high-end furniture, art, a 52 inch TV, and matching dishes. I had beautiful things, but I couldn't bring with me when I left. Honestly, I didn't want them. All we could fit into the trailer was the boys' bedroom furniture. And I feel like I have to explain this every time someone new comes into our apartment, with its thrift store kitchen table, tiny TV, an secondhand furniture.
I am not proud of my crappy apartment, but I should be. I love the freedom I have in it. No one can tell me what shows I can watch on my small, cheap TV. No one can tell me that I'm not allowed to drink Coke right out of the bottle. No one can tell me that I can't buy a brown couch if I want to.
Freedom is better than the nice things. Being alone is better than being controlled. Being happy for the first time in years outweighs anything.
I saw my uncle at church today. He asked me how my life is and I smiled. Then I read this scripture in Sunday School. "Blessed are ye that weep now, for ye shall laugh." Luke 6:21. I feel like I'm finally laughing. The petty things that used to matter don't anymore. Sure I don't have everything I want. I don't have my dream job yet, but I love the one I do have. I don't have a luxurious dominical, but I have a good one. I don't have that book on the shelves yet, but it'll happen, and this time I'll get a better agent. 2014 is almost over. I just have to get through December, and I'll be laughing to myself all 2015.
But not like a crazy person.
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