Distance

Lately, I've been thinking about distance, measured in inches and miles and also the metaphorical space that can divide. Have you ever lay right next to someone, but felt like the span of The Great Wall of China separates you? Or have you literally been 4,681 miles away, but felt like they were everywhere, surrounding you? 

I've also been thinking a lot about love and what it actually means. I used to think that love was a meet-cute, a tight 90 minutes of troupes and misunderstandings, and then a happy ending, all tied up with a kiss and pretty red bow. But love is nothing like it is in a rom-com. Love isn't a fleeting feeling, but a decision you make every day. Every morning you wake up and choose to love the person beside you, even when they are as grumpy as a grandpa who yells at cats for stepping foot on their lawn. Or they always have a million chores when you just want to snuggle and watch Netflix. Or they have an opinion on literally everything but are shit at expressing their feelings. You accept their flaws and faults, stick by them when they have a fire inside. You love them anyway, no matter what, through the dark and the light, until the end of time. Sometimes I don't know how to love him, but I stand still and love him the best way I know how.

Distance

When I met him, his eyes were filled with war,

Of heartbreak, broken homes, of a slamming door.

A caustic man, he tasted of chaos and pride.

I didn’t know how to love him but stood by his side.

He twitched in his sleep, trapped on the battlefield,

Still fighting, always fighting, the wounds unhealed.

He was breathing fire but freezing in the cold.

I wanted to be the warmth, so I took hold.  

And I wouldn’t let go, even when he went quiet and dark.

I kissed him, trying to revive him, to bring back a spark.

But sometimes distance isn’t measured mile by mile.

It’s a world away, behind the emptiness of a smile.

But I remained, held on tighter, felt his heart begin to beat.

Leaves fell, leaving branches bear, the rain turned to sleet.

As the sun reached full tilt, he came closer, little by little.

Then I waited through another Fall when everything was brittle.

His world shifted, and finally, his soul opened to mine.

The baggage was checked, the past left behind.

Now the darkness is gone, replaced by a golden hue.

There is only sun and love, and me and you.