With my non-wedding anniversary looming on the horizon, I've been thinking about love a lot. The love I got, the love I wanted, the love I gave too freely. Maybe I'm a fool, but when I love you, I love you. I love you when you're happy or sad, fat or skinny, loud or quiet, funny or serious. I go all in. Not in a crazy stalker way, but I'm all about unconditional love. Love should never have stipulations attached to it. I used to joke with my ex, who LOVED returning things to the store, that at least he never returned me. Well, he kind of did. My love comes with no strings. I don't expect you to bend over backwards for me or buy me jewelry. Just love and support me. That's all I want.
But if you betray me, my love is gone, replaced by distain.
I'm a passionate person. I either love you completely, or I ignore your existence. I don't really hate, for hating is not an emotion within my heart. I have never understood hatred. I never will. This is one of the gifts the Lord bestowed upon me. For love is stronger than magic or heartache or pain. J.K. Rowlings taught me that. Love can overcome evil. Love is all you need. The Beatles taught me that.
I was never loved like I deserved, and I accepted that love because I thought that was all I could get, but I hold out hope for a grand love. A love someone will write poetry about. That person will probably be me. But can that epic love existed here in the real world? I don't know. But I do know that no one is ever going to love me like Peeta loved Katniss, Logan loved Veronica, or Cassel loved Lila, or Perry loved Aria, or Eric loved Sookie, or Damon loved Elena. (I read a lot.) I'll be loved differently that that's okay. I just want someone to love me for who I am--for my strengths and my weaknesses--and not want to change me in anyway. I want to be enough, just how I am.
I have the love of my little boys and they think I'm pretty great. In fact, I know exactly how I'm going to celebrate my non-wedding anniversary. I'm taking them out on a date to a restaurant I was never allowed to go to. I'm taking them to the SJCDS football game because my ex-husband hated sports. We're going to eat dessert for breakfast and have a grand old time.
That sounds like the perfect way to celebrate, and I think the day is definitely worth celebrating when you've got two kids as awesome as yours because of it! What kind of restaurant did he boycott? Do they do something crazy like have the different types of food on the plate touch or serve something wild like tacos?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't allowed to go to any seafood restaurant because he didn't like seafood. Basically if he didn't like something, no one could have it. Like he made the boys get cheeseburgers when they wanted hamburgers. They weren't allowed to like hamburgers because he liked cheeseburgers. It was craziness.
ReplyDeleteI think we're going somewhere in Fleming since we're celebrating with my lovely sister Nicole. :) I'll have to do seafood next time we go to St. Augustine.
DeleteBeautiful! I shall do it this time, it will be our 5th anniversary and I obviously want it to be a little different that our old ones where we would book a lavish venue New York and invite people. This time it has to be us and a pretty place.
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