I'm going to come out and say it. I'm superficial. At least at first. I have a very specific type. I like dark blond hair, blue eyes, and a little height. I like big biceps and abs and rounded butts. (Tina knows what I'm talking about.) I also like boys who venture out in the woods or take a swim at the beach in the middle of a storm. Who can fix things and look good while mowing the lawn. I need someone who would go ghost hunting and fishing with me. Someone who can swing an ax or command a surfboard or wield a hammer. I need someone who won't lie or cheat. I need someone who has a good work ethic, but not a workaholic. I need a man who will accept me the way I am, and someone who will love my boys. I like things besides biceps. I find brains and bravery very sexy. And if you've read poetry or fallen in love with a book in the last few years. Have mercy.
But all I find on the LDS dating sites are guys like these. And weirdos.
I feel bad when I click No, No, No, on my daily matches. I'm not perfect and I don't want people judging me by only by looks because I'm no super model. But this time I have to be attracted to my mate. Last time, the attraction was pretty forced. I need someone I can't keep my hands off of. I need a lot of things, and I'm scared I won't get them. It all makes me want to retreat into my yoga pants and date Netflix for life. I don't even know why I'm trying online dating. I'm not into chasing guys, and I don't talk back to anyone who contacts me. Maybe I'm just a big scaredy cat.
Do any men read this blog? Do I stand a chance in today's dating market? Would you want to date me? Do guys really pick a girl based on her personality? I don't have blond hair and stick-thin, spider-like legs. I was blessed with boobs, and muscles, and curves. I also have wrinkles on my forehead and dark under eye circles that make me look a little bit like I was punched. (I wear makeup to cover this up) I have a lot of opinions. I have a sugar addiction. I hate working out, but think it's important for everyone to do. I have sass and a sense of humor. But is that enough? Do guys have these types of insecurities? Am I alone in my neurotic self-assessment?
So now I've signed up for the free 7 day trial on another, non-Mormon dating site, and let me tell you, all the hot guys are over there. And they are talking to me and I'm scared of them. I think everyone is a Catfish and probably going to dismember me if I meet them for dinner. I just don't like the whole getting-to-know-you-over-the-internet thing. I need references and background checks and a guarantee that you won't murder in the bathroom of the local Chili's.
I used to be really good with guys. I had a giant map on my bedroom wall at college. I used it to mark the state's where the boys I kissed were from. I aimed to get all fifty states. I got most of the states (Alaska I was the most proud of), but I had a lot of fun. Like this one time I met a guy who I swear to you could have been a model. I told him I thought he was cute, and that was that. I got another pin in my map. I used to know how to flirt, but now I mainly know how to stutter and spill my drink.
Maybe it's time I turn to my internet to find a date. Does this make me desperate? I don't know, and I'm done caring. I am a badass single mother, a teacher, a tutor, a cheerleading coach, and an author. I don't have time to find guys on my own. I can't hang out at coffee shops or go to the bar or dance at a club. I need help. I'm not saying I want to get married again. I just want to go on a date, hold someone's hand, and get a good night kiss. I'm so out of practice. Does anyone know a hot, single, nonmurderer guy out there that they think I'd hit it off with? Am I sounding desperate again? Whatever. If I never put myself out there again, I'll never make out again. And I really, really miss making out. Really.
Do any men read this blog? Do I stand a chance in today's dating market? Would you want to date me? Do guys really pick a girl based on her personality? I don't have blond hair and stick-thin, spider-like legs. I was blessed with boobs, and muscles, and curves. I also have wrinkles on my forehead and dark under eye circles that make me look a little bit like I was punched. (I wear makeup to cover this up) I have a lot of opinions. I have a sugar addiction. I hate working out, but think it's important for everyone to do. I have sass and a sense of humor. But is that enough? Do guys have these types of insecurities? Am I alone in my neurotic self-assessment?
So now I've signed up for the free 7 day trial on another, non-Mormon dating site, and let me tell you, all the hot guys are over there. And they are talking to me and I'm scared of them. I think everyone is a Catfish and probably going to dismember me if I meet them for dinner. I just don't like the whole getting-to-know-you-over-the-internet thing. I need references and background checks and a guarantee that you won't murder in the bathroom of the local Chili's.
I used to be really good with guys. I had a giant map on my bedroom wall at college. I used it to mark the state's where the boys I kissed were from. I aimed to get all fifty states. I got most of the states (Alaska I was the most proud of), but I had a lot of fun. Like this one time I met a guy who I swear to you could have been a model. I told him I thought he was cute, and that was that. I got another pin in my map. I used to know how to flirt, but now I mainly know how to stutter and spill my drink.
Maybe it's time I turn to my internet to find a date. Does this make me desperate? I don't know, and I'm done caring. I am a badass single mother, a teacher, a tutor, a cheerleading coach, and an author. I don't have time to find guys on my own. I can't hang out at coffee shops or go to the bar or dance at a club. I need help. I'm not saying I want to get married again. I just want to go on a date, hold someone's hand, and get a good night kiss. I'm so out of practice. Does anyone know a hot, single, nonmurderer guy out there that they think I'd hit it off with? Am I sounding desperate again? Whatever. If I never put myself out there again, I'll never make out again. And I really, really miss making out. Really.
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