You Can't Date Yourself. I Beg to Differ.

 

My almost divorce is final (yay!). I'm just waiting for the judge to sign off on everything, which will take about two weeks. I'm really looking forward to dating myself. No really. I couldn't think of better, hotter, cooler person to spend time with. I plan on taking myself out to lunch, buying myself flowers, and taking myself  for long, romantic runs. I will be an adorable and thoughtful significant other. I don't need to date myself to rediscover who I am. I never lost that. I know what I want and what I need, what I like and what I don't. I'm just going to enjoy some time alone. But you can never be truly alone with two cute little men always at your side.

And who needs a relationship when there is so much yummy food to eat? I have a dream, y'all. I want to fly to France and eat my way through the country. Je voudrais une pâtisserie. I know how to say important things in French. I want to eat so many pastries that I go into a food coma and have to be resuscitated by a hot French café worker. I would marry a bakery if I could. Or maybe a baker. Peeta, can you hear me?

Speaking of Peeta Mellark. Fictional people can't compete with the real world. I'm sorry to say that there is no Peeta Mellark, no Cassel Sharpe (Read the White Cat by Holly Black), no Jem Cartairs or Will Herondale (Read Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare), and no Abram or Brigadier Lee (Also read my books when they come out.) And lastly, I'll never meet Tom Hiddleston. We have a long distance relationship, and we mainly see each other over Tumblr. But Tommy is the best boyfriend I've ever had. He lets me be myself, he just stands around looking pretty, he reads me sonnets and E.E. Cummings. He lives in England, and doesn't know I exists, so he gives me plenty of space. If I miss having a real boyfriend, I'll just read a good book or watch Thor, and I'll be good. So I guess I am dating the internet, and our relationship is beautiful.

I don't hate men or the idea of a relationship, but I'm not going looking for it. The good news is that I'll be ready if I do meet someone. I know I was married, but it hasn't felt that way for years. While I stayed faithful, I was always alone. It was like he was already gone. So if someone amazing falls out of the sky, then great. And if he's blond, blue eyed, tall, has a college degree, and is a funny, yet honest man, (It's weird but these were things I always wanted, but I got the opposite of them all.) then I will date the heck out of him.