Right now, my box seems like it's so big that a refrigerator could fit inside. The truth is, my box is small and once held a diamond ring, full of promises and hope. This darkness doesn't feel like a gift, but a burden.
I know things haven't been rainbows and butterflies for the last few years, but there have been some happy times mixed in with the bad. I tried my hardest, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I'm mad right now, livid that this is what my life is now. What did I do that was so wrong? I don't think I'll ever understand. I know this isn't my fault, but it has still gutted me. My heart will mend, but never be the same.
This darkness will be with me for a long time, but that doesn't matter. I have two beautiful boys, my boxes full of light. They are joy incarnated, happiness come to life, love in the flesh. They are the sun, streaming in through the storm. One day, I know I will see this box full of darkness as a gift. It's the trials that define us, the refiner's fire that solidifies our spirit and strength. I've been in the valley of shadows for years, and the assent into the sunlight has been treacherous and tiring, but I'm climbing out. One foot in front of the other. I'm almost there.
Have you ever been given a box full of darkness?
Or were you the giver of the darkness?
What will you do with your black box? Let it ruin you? Define you? Strengthen you?
I'm going to use my box to be a better writer. Before this, I have never known true heartbreak or loss. Now I have. I have to use that in my books.
You should use it to write, too, even if you are not a writer. Write a scene, either from your own life or the life you live inside your head, when the box full of darkness is given. Write about the despair, the fear, and the acceptance. Write about the gift that broke your heart or the gift that made you braver. Write about it. It helps. I promise.
I love that quote! I really like the idea behind it because I think it’s what we do with those boxes of darkness that shapes who we become. I hate what he’s putting you through, but I know you’re going to use it. If you use this as a writer, I think its going to add a whole new depth to what you create. There are authors who can write a scene, and it’s sad and moving, but it’s left there on the page. Then there are those authors who write a scene and drag you right into it. They give you no choice but to live whatever’s happening. It’s the difference between the author telling you the character is heartbroken and the author actually making your heart break right alongside the character. You don’t just read it, you experience it. I think having that real life experience to draw from is part of what makes that type of writing possible.
ReplyDeleteI hope I can be a writer who breaks the readers' hearts, right along with the main character. I want to be one of those authors who you love/hate for ripping our your heart.
Delete