Things are getting ugly with the divorce. My ex thinks I am overreacting to everything, and that we need to be besties right now. I don't even want to be an acquaintance. I want to slash tires and light things on fire. He has no idea how much crazy I want to throw at him. If you asked me, I'm keeping my cool pretty well. I haven't done anything to hurt him or his balls, which I think is an amazing quality. It does help that I'm thousands of miles away.
"O God, where are thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth they hiding place?"
"Peace be unto thy soul; thine affliction shall be but a small moment; And then, if though endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shall triumph over all thy foes." (Somewhere in D&C. I already closed my scriptures.)
They say the Lord tries those He loves the most. He must love me a lot. He must think I am unbreakable. He's giving me far too much credit. I am hopeful that I will triumph soon and find the peace within my soul.
I need to suck it up and be the heroine because I decide how to react. So I'm going to channel Buffy and save the world a lot. Or something along those lines.
I love your blog, not because of the motivation fueling you to write it, that i wish i could take away from you. But even in your pain, your talent shines so brightly Lauren, and God is walking besides you every second and step of this unfamiliar journey; He will guide you along the way. (though I'd gladly join you in slashing tires and hurling and Molotov cocktails ;) speak your truth and stand your ground for the respect and love you and your sons deserve. you have the love and family and friends to lean on for the times you're not feeling very "Buffy", as you're entitled to those moments as well <3 love you girl!! (hope you got my reply text this afternoon, i didn't know which # you use mainly :)
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ReplyDeleteLauren, Ive been following everything that's going on in your life right now, and I ache for you. I love this blog post: http://lemmonythings.com/2014/01/05/god-will-give-you-more-than-you-can-handle-i-guarantee-it/. It's OK if you fall apart right now. You are doing more than enough. I promise, over time, the Savior will right every wrong done to you. Rest in Him sweetie--I know it's hard, but do what you can do and turn the worry over to Him. He is at the helm. 3 Nephi 22 reminds me of you (all of the chapter but just read verse 6 to know what I mean). Remember you have an army of supporters (including me!).
ReplyDeleteI love you, Mara! Thank you for all your love and support. You're the best!
ReplyDeletei love you back beautiful Lauren! you are a warrior and will triumph over all of this! you won't just survive, but you will thrive, this is for certain <3
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ReplyDeleteRandelle! Thank you for your kind words. You have no idea how much I love that you said that I have an army of supporters. :) It makes me sound like Loki. He has an army, too. Thank you, everyone for supporting me. It's been tough, but having so many people behind me as made things so much easier.
ReplyDeleteEven Buffy had her breakdowns, not to mention an awesome support system. You're still a kick a** heroine, even when you aren't feeling that way.
ReplyDeleteAnd I loved that Buffy had those breakdowns. It made her more human. She was tough stuff, but not afraid to cry.
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