A Kindness I Can Never Repay

There was a time when I thought about staying with my husband. I'd gotten so used to just surviving that I'd forgotten there was an alternative. I wanted to work through it. I wanted to keep my family together. I wanted my sons to have a father, but my friends wouldn't stand for it. They knew what my husband had done, and wouldn't let me forget it, even when I wanted to ignore it. They escorted me home, made sure my husband left, packed up all my belongs, and helped me move. Without my friends, I wouldn't have been strong enough. One of my favorite books, The Perk of Being a Wallflower, has one of my favorite quote. "We accept the love we think we deserve." And that's what I was doing, staying because I didn't think I deserved any better.

I will never forget my best friend Sally grabbing my shoulders and forcing me to look her in the eyes. She said, "Lauren, I don't think you get it! You are beautiful and good and kind. You deserve happiness. You deserve honesty. You deserve to be love beyond reason." Before she said that to me, I had forgotten who I once was. I used to be confident and strong. I took no crap. But I'd become afraid to speak up for myself. I was lost. And my friends loved me before this, and during, and after.

My daddy flew out in the middle of the night to come get me and the boys. He drove us across the country. He stayed in bad hotels and ate four days worth of fast food and he didn't complain that we had to stop twenty times a day for pee breaks. When we rolled into town, my mom was here with a huge welcome sign. She cried and told me I was so brave. I hadn't thought of myself in that way in my entire life. My parents have shown me nothing but kindness my entire life.

My friends and family have reconnected with me. It's like I never left. They welcomed me back, they've made me smile, and they've helped me in every possible way. I have been in their thoughts and prayers, and I have been buoyed up because of it. Once again, I have been loved.

Then there's my sister. I will truly never be able to repay her. She has given me a refuge from my stormy life. She has let us live in her house, two noisy boys and sister who constantly needs reassurance that she's done the right thing. She has hugged me as I cried. She has been there with me, going through this tragedy. She has made me laugh louder and longer than I have in years. She is kindness.

So when you have the opportunity to be good to someone, do it. Kindness rebuilds lives. It fills in the holes left in hearts. It makes all the difference. When someone serves you, you can be thankful, but you can never repay kindness, not really, and maybe that's the point of it.